仙女露莎年龄:希望高手可以帮忙看一下————一篇英语作文

存在时态上的大问题.
"我在中学时..."显然要用过去时.
我给你改成下面这样,请看看吧:(可能改动较大哦~`~)
When I was a student in middle school, I had a dream of having a lot of money. Of course, at first, I must have some knowledge so that I can find a job to earn money. So I worked very hard in study. In senior middle school， the friedship among the classmates impressed me. I liked the life in the class. At that time, we had both happy and unhappy. In a word, the classmates being together was very good.

Now I have another dream of being able to staying at a place for 3 years. In the end, I am looking forward to my success.

When I was a student in the middle school, I had a dream to make a lot of money. Of course, I must have knowledge so I can have money to buy a house of my own. So I studied hard. In the senior year of middle school, I made a lot of friends with my classmates. We had happy times and also sad times. And I like this life very much. In short, this was a very good life.

Now I have another dream, which is to find a place where we could spend three years together. In the end, I look forward to such a day that this dream is fulfilled.

全对了
当我在中学的学生,我有一个梦,有很多钱. 当然,首先,我必须有知识,使我能够有我自己的地方钱. 所以我很努力的学习. 在高中给我的印象是,这和我的同学朋友之间. 我喜欢我的生活课. 在那个时候,我们是快乐或不快乐. 总之,同学们在一个地方. 这是非常好的. 现在我有其他的梦想就是能在一个地方,我们花了3年. 最后,我期待着我们成功.

When I was a student in the middle school, I had a dream that having a lot of money. Of course, at first, I must have some knowledge so that I can own a place to live in . So I work ed very hard in study. In the senior school， the friend between classmates and me impressed me a lot . I liked the life when I was in the class. In that time, we either had happiness or have unhappiness. In a word, it is very good.

Now I have the other dream that we can have a place where we can spent 3 years. In the end, I look forward to that we are successful.